Lava Cantina

10001 Perkins Rowe


DBG’s husband suggested they meet at Lava Cantina before watching the 50th Anniversary episode of Doctor Who at Cinemark Perkins Rowe.  DBG’s husband is never allowed to pick the restaurant ever again.  Ever! Lava Cantina boasts an “original” rock and roll theme with cover bands five days a week. DBG can only presume the owners never bothered to visit a Hard Rock Café in the late 1980’s. It was a cold rainy Monday night. So it was no surprise that the bar was almost empty. While she waited for The Hubs, she was forced to watch an old Buckcherry video on one of the many television screens.  Buckcherry. Really.


DBG ordered some wine and a glass of water (Spoiler Alert: The H2O never materialized despite the fact that she asked for it three times.)  A small glass of Kendall Jackson chardonnay was placed in front of her along with three separate menus to pursue the first of which was encased in an album cover sporting a bare-chested Peter Frampton.  She quickly opened the menu so the Raggedy Andy-man boy would stop leering at her with a disturbing “come-hither look” in his sunken puppy dog eyes. 


She was hungry so she ordered the guacamole that the restaurant boasted was made tableside.  The bartender gathered a few ingredients and mixed together a dusky green creation with out any pomp and circumstance. The result was a mushy cardboard tasting dip that set DBG back $9 and caused a small amount of resentment between herself and The Hubs.  DBG then made the decision to order a couple of happy hour tapas because they were only $4.95 and she wanted to waste as little money as possible. The Hubs got a margarita.  When asked to describe how it tasted he said, “Well…it is a margarita.”


The tapas arrived with out any silverware.  After multiple attempts to flag down the bartender, The Hubs just went over to the hostess station and grabbed some roll-ups.  The Chipotle Shrimp were so spicy and over salted DBG’s lips went completely numb.  Once again, a glass of water would have been nice.  Later she would return home and saturate her burned lips with Carmex in a vain attempt to heal them quickly. The Rebel Cheese Bites were tasty. So congratulations to Lava Cantina—they managed not to mess up fried cheese.  Next stop—Michelin star!


DBG and The Hubs decided to salvage the situation by ordering another round.  This became an act of Congress, as the bartender seemed to want to do anything but bartend.  They talked of many things and had a horrific realization that the band Kiss looks really disturbing in high definition.  They finally managed to wrangle the check from their sometimes bartender and went on to watch one of the best episodes of Doctor Who ever made.  The Hubs even cried a wee bit, but DBG found it endearing in its own little nerdy way.