The Oyster Bar
11101 Ferdinand Street
St. Francisville

Need a cold one after riding the ferry across the mighty Mississippi?

The Oyster Bar is a small squat building nestled down by Bayou Sara. I thought they might have oysters. After entering around noon on a Tuesday, I was informed they only had chips. I ordered a Miller Light and some Lays, sat back, and watched the free entertainment.

The owner and his sidekick sat at the far end of the bar tossing insults at one another. (Imagine an elderly version of Beevis and Butthead.) After the afternoon bartender arrived, the owner distributed the new uniform shirt and began to lecture the girls on appearance standards. Quote: “I got these new tank tops for you girls to wear while ya’ll tend to the bar. Make sure you shave your armpits before you put ‘em on.”

Eventually the sidekick turned his attention to me and asked if I would consider engaging in a mutually beneficial relationship with a semi-respected southern gentleman. I politely declined, but a relatively charming discussion followed.
As I left, the owner saluted me and said, “Darlin’ you are welcomed back anytime. You have extremely nice breasts. You should see my wife; she could wear her bra backwards.”