Can’t Afford a Real Vacation…

DBG always thought the best part of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood was when the trolley swept them away to the
land of Make Believe. Fred got paid to be all of those different people…err…puppets. Well, know this,
Redsticker: just because you are all grown up, that doesn’t mean you can’t pretend to be someone you are not.
Hotel bars are the perfect stage for playing in the land of Make Believe. You won’t know anyone, and hotel bars
are filled with lonely folks dying to tell you their life stories.

Step 1: You and your partner in crime invent personas. DBG tells fellow travelers her name is Delta. She lives
in Biloxi, writes Harlequin romance novels, and raises show poodles as a hobby. Her Protector likes to call
himself Dustin. He is a blackjack dealer and also enjoys his time with the poodle children.
Step 2: Create your motive. Delta and Dustin are usually in Baton Rouge for a cousin’s wedding. They aren’t
too excited about it. Dustin’s cousin is marrying a mail-order bride from Ukraine.
Step 3: Choose your hotel. Try to make sure it is one of the larger venues.
Step 4: Saddle up to the bar and strike up a conversation with the bartender. Also make comments to your
partner like, “Gosh, I hope the poodles are OK.” Or “My deadline for the book is at the end of the month.” Other
patrons will get curious and quickly join in.
Step 5: Pay in cash and remember to use an exit that makes it look like you are heading up to your room via the
Step 6: Remember to continuously do your reconnaissance work. DBG has learned that no one monitors who
enters and exits the Hilton pool. This fact will come in handy during the long days of summer.